Three Prime Evils
by RPG Of Nonsense And No Rules
Summary: Ummm...(schmi here) this was made before i joined. just be sure that it's probably funny


Mephisto:  
  
(( the surroundings: Someplace that has a floor AND trees for some reason.)) *I sit on the ground* "I'm sitting on the floor, I must be a floor-on!"*lay hand on tiny horse that suddenly appears beside me* "Now I'm partly on a horse. I must be a more-on!"*Baal comes in on a flying carpet, looking like a blue falafel in the middle of a flea-collar. Whatever that means* "Oh, here comes Baal on a flying carpet, looking like a blue falafel in the middle of a flea-collar. *pause* Whatever that means!"  
  
Baal:  
  
Baal looks around, and decides she doesn't like trees... " I shall  
destroy these trees!" she says and destroys the trees.  
"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
Baal stops laughing evilly and blinks once or twice... "NO! YES! NO!  
YES!"  
Baal suddenly yells out... "STOP FIGHTING!!! stupid voices..."  
Mephisto looks at Baal, shakes her head and says: "you're a strange  
one..."  
"Of course my horse!" Baal barks (like a sheep... well in this dimension  
sheep bark...)  
  
  
Mephisto:  
  
Mephisto realizes that Baal has done every funny thing Mephisto ever knew.  
"Um, er... Oops?" Mephisto considers throwing a pie in the face of the Lord  
of Destruction, but decides to do something hateful instead. She mutters,  
"It IS my job, after all..."  
Baal lifts one eyebrow (She carries lots of them around in a paper bag  
that says: 'EyeBroWs') in amusement when she notices that The Lord of  
Hatred itself has temporarily sunken to the exact intelligence of a certain  
two-dimensional character known as 2D. (Though his name is really Stu-Pot.)  
Mephisto sits on the ground and recites satanic verses about zombies and  
frying pans. Baal gets bored. (Easily)  
Baal summons Diablo with the wave of a hand. (She carries lots of them in  
her backpack.)  
Diablo is in her spooky-looking demonic form as she walks over a nearby  
town like Godzilla. (Apparently, there are also nearby towns!) Baal  
mutters, "Sure, I like being Demonic power #2... But I wish I could change  
my demonic form so that it would be less pink-ish!" She pauses and looks at  
Mephisto, who is gnawing at her foot. "In time, I WILL acquire that  
ability... And there are worse demonic drawbacks than that..."  
Diablo finally reaches her minions. "The thin line between insanity and  
genius..." She says in a pondery way. "kinda dangerous for her to be the  
one with the unstable intelligence, don't you think?" Baal replied, "Well,  
that may be right, but HER demonic form is much cooler than my  
Teletubby-hugging pink-ish one!" "Language, Language!" Diablo warned her.  
"And you'll be able to change it soon, anyway."  
Baal changed the subject. "I think this sane calmness of ours won't last  
much longer..."  
"Gfft Eftheds chocofllt!" Mephisto said through her foot. Diablo shook a  
head Baal had just taken from her backpack. "I agree."  
  
Baal:  
  
Diablo, Mephisto and Baal decide to go see a movie... so Mephisto starts  
dancing in a strange way, while Baal tries to put all her body parts in  
order... Finally after a lot of general madness Mephisto stops dancing and  
looks into the air.  
"Erm... it's probably none of my business... but why were you dancing like an  
insane stork?" Diablo asks after scratching her head.  
Mephisto just looks at her as if she were the insane stork. Baal starts  
yelling after a few minutes of all this nonsense.  
"LOOK!!! THE ELEPHANT HAS STARTED SINGING!!!" and she was right, high above  
them, hidden by the clouds a very fat, very gray elephant was singing a very  
strange song by Queen... something about Rocks... Diablo decided it was time  
for them to leave... they'd be late for the movie! So Diablo, Mephisto and  
Baal mount the magic carpet which apperated -for no good reason- right in  
front of them... then Mephisto started dancing again... which was a very bad  
idea because the were very high. High on evilness that is. They landed in  
front of the huge house where the movie's are kept and walked inside. They  
bought tickets for the Harry Potter movie and a lot of popcorn... well  
Mephisto didn't like popcorn so she decided to buy ice cream instead. The sat  
back and watched the huge white screen.  
  
  
Mephisto:  
  
((Thought we were going to tell you about the movie? Never! We're too  
Evil.))  
After ruining the movie for the pesky humans in the theatre, finishing the  
popcorn (and ice cream), clipping their toenails, staring at the blank  
screen for two hours, ruining the next movie and driving eight people  
insane, The Three Prime Evils went to the toilet.  
"I miss the stork dance." said Mephisto as they opened the door to the  
lavatory. In there were four teenage girls giggling and ranting about  
Leonardo Di Caprio. Mephisto had a brainstorm. (She has them every five  
years.)  
With a little 'poof' noise, Mephisto changed into Leonardo Di Caprio, and  
just before the girls fainted, she changed to her demonic form. The  
screaming could be heard all the way to Greenland. The four girls ran away,  
and didn't stop 'til they reached Sweden.  
"Good job Mephisto!" said Diablo and gave Mephisto a purple umbrella and a  
golden ribbon. Baal just rolled on the floor, laughing. Diablo sung; "The  
ballad of the gracious overcoat."  
Mephisto shrugged and changed back to human after eating a sink. *Burp*  
"Aye, I know these things are bad for my digestion, but I can't stop!"  
A giant green hamster appeared in the doorway and waved a wand. Baal got  
yellow and fuchsia stripes, Diablo turned into a door-handle, Mephisto got  
a tail and all three of them got sucked into a nearby toilet. "Cliché!"  
Baal and Mephisto yelled before entering another dimension. Diablo would  
have yelled that too, if she had had a mouth.  
  
  
Baal:  
  
When the world stopped spinning and the water had disapparated Baal, Mephisto  
and the door handle started their quest... they were going to go save the  
world from a dragon and... *Director jumps out of some bushes*  
"NO!!! what do I have to do to make you door handles understand me???" The  
director yelled... looking very much like a tomato with very blue hair. "You  
are EVIL!!! evil evil!!! as in bad guys!!! You do NOT save anything!!! and  
you do NOT kill dragons!!!" The director seemed to have had enough of yelling  
and went back to the bushes.  
"Ah! I'm colored in yellow and fuchsia!!!" Baal said dropping all her  
body parts to the ground.  
"daflubb?" Mephisto said looking confused. Diablo didn't say a word because  
she was still a doorhandle...  
"I am Gandalf!" Some old dude said, waved a staff and Diablo, Mephisto and  
Baal were back to their original state.  
  
  
Mephisto:  
  
'Gandalf' disapparated."Hey! I liked my tail!!!" Mephisto yelled at the sky before giving a flower therapy. Baal had enough sense to say, "Um, Meffy? You're the Lord of Hatred and you specialize in form-changing..."  
  
"Don't call me Meffy! And your point is?" Diablo said, "Over?" "Yesh!" Baal agreed, "I'm a little fershnigget..." Mephisto ate the depressed flower before saying, "And I'm a little evil! And my IQ just lovered the average standard..."  
  
The Flabbergasted Elf of Little Balance apparated. It wore The Glimmering Skirt of Shiu-Ra. It yelled louder than a freckled ent on a deadly quest, "Are you the demonic, devious, monstrous, wicked, fiendish, menacing, ominous, vindictive, malicious, baleful, sinister Three Prime Evils?"  
  
Mephisto gnawed on her toenails, Baal swallowed a butterfly and choked a Smurf before Diablo replied, "Aye, Dat's us! But you forgot 'wretched.'" "Sorry about that!" The Flabbergasted yada yada said so loudly that Mephisto got stuck in a tree and Baal got the appearence of Chris Kattan.  
  
Baal:  
  
Baal looked down on her... er himself and said: "LIVE FROM NEW YORK::: IT'S  
SATURDAY NIGHT!!!" Then she... er him changed back and started to choke  
smurfs again.  
"Hey! I had to stay as a doorhandle for much longer then you had to stay as a  
strange human!" Diablo said and put her nose in the air.  
"Stop throwing noses in the air Diablo!" Mephisto said as she tried to catch  
the noses Diablo had stolen from Baal's backpack.  
"HA HA! I have thrown up!" Diablo said. Then she realized how there was a  
double meaning and added: "noses!"  
The Elf (yes he is still there) made a strange noise that sounded oddly like:  
"EEEWWWW" and said: "You threw up noses???" Baal came over with a lot of blue  
stanes (from choking the smurfs) and said: "Nonsense! Diablo would never  
throw up noses!" Then Baal blinked once... I wouldn't have told you about the  
blinking... except Baal fell asleep and didn't open her eyes again after that  
one blink. Mephisto decided to finish explaining to the Elf how Diablo would  
never throe up noses.  
"Diablo only threw noses up! She never threw up noses!"  
  
Mephisto:  
  
"I forgot where we were..." Baal muttered. "Me too!" Diablo agreed. Mephisto stole Baal's backpack and threw it at the Elf, who turned into a smurf. (I'm not even telling you what Baal did to it!) Mephisto said, "We were somewhere? I forget..."  
  
Diablo had a brainstorm. (She never had one before! Go figure!) "I'm going to magically transport us to a random dimension!" "You can do that?" Meffy asked before yelling, "Don't call me Meffy!" Baal put her backpack back on, dropping lots of chins to the ground. "Oops! Um, I don't really need those anyway..."  
  
Mephisto scratched one of Baal's ears. "Stop playing with my collection!" Baal yelled loudly enough to make Diablo become a door handle again. Mephisto scratched her own ear, using a foot. (Her own foot, actually!) Baal looked at Diablo the Door Handle and said, "Now what?"  
  
"I know!" Mephisto yelled loudly enough to get stuck in a tree again. "Let's go on a dangerous, deadly quest to find Gandalf, the old dude we know nothing about!" Baal raised three eyebrows, two were her own. "Why???" Mephisto was stumped. "Er, um, what could we do with the help of a mysterious old man who changes dark, evil overlords to their original state?"  
  
Baal did nasty things to a couple of smurfs. "Too many smurfs in this dimension!" Baal complained before she asked, "What were we saying?" Mephisto replied, "I'm not sure... But I get the feeling that we should try to find old Gandalf." Baal blinked. Mephisto blinked. Baal spotted teletubbies.  
  
Mephisto also noticed them. Mephisto jumped out of her tree, picked up Diablo the door handle and climbed up a bigger one, repeatedly yelling, "Destroy, Baal! Destroy!!!" Mephisto then yelled, "I hate them, Diablo terrifies them (If she can do that as a door handle.) and you destroy them! Kay?"  
  
((It's up to you, Baal. Will you succeed in destroying the teletubbies? Or will terror overcome you?))  
  
Baal:  
  
"die." Baal said to the horrid creatures that are Tellietubbies. The  
Tellietubbies died.  
"That was easy!" Mephisto said and looked at the costumes that lay dead on  
the ground.  
"I know! When we use the power of three we are invincible!" Baal said,  
thunder and lightning followed that statement... for some odd reason...  
  
Mephisto:  
  
Mephisto breathes very fast. "I, I, I... Um, those things are scary!" Baal gave her a hand. Mephisto took the hand and said, "Thanks, Baal. But if you're going to help me out of this tree, you might want to give me a different kind of hand." Baal muttered, "sorry." and gave Mephisto a hand with six fingers.  
  
Mephisto looked at the hands. Baal woke up. (She fell asleep a long time ago and didn't wake up until now.) Mephisto fell out of the tree and landed with a loud 'Platwdaflubb'. (She landed on a village of certain small, frightening, high-pitched, blue creatures.)  
  
Diablo the door-handle turned fuchsia. Baal said, "Weren't we going on some MISSION?" She screamed the last bit because she hates the word 'Quest'. "Yeah," Mephisto started. "We were trying to find a dude named Gandalf!" Baal fell asleep again. Mephisto's IQ sunk to a new low.  
  
Some voice started speaking, "My, oh, my! I don't know how they're getting out of this one! Stay tuned for next week's episode of... " Mephisto did the stork dance again and screamed, "Watch out for omnivorous clowns!" The owner of the voice got transported to a dimension filled with Smurfs, Teletubbies, care bears and numerous other pests.  
  
Baal:  
  
Baal, decided to go on vacation, and left Mephisto with Diablo for company, Diablo took one look at Mephisto and turned into a door-handle. Mephisto decided this was a good time to develop her demonic plan to take over the world, but then she looked at her wrist watch, which was invisible, and changed her mind, it wasn't a good time to take over the world after all, the last part Mephisto said out loud... just to hear how it sounded. Diablo turned back to her demonic form and back, but had time to say: "traitor" before she turned into a door-handle again. Mephisto pretended not to have heard that comment and picked Diablo up, pocketed her and set out on her quest (Baal: "NO!!! Mission!!!") to find Gandalf.  
  
Mephisto:  
  
One split second, Mephisto actually tried to wonder about Diablo's unexpected shape shifting. It didn't last long.  
  
As she (They?) walked down a road that had miraculously never been mentioned before, Mephisto looked to her right side and saw the same tree and rock again and again and... You get the idea.  
  
Mephisto happened to realize what was going on! "This place has turned into a crappy Hanna-Barbara cartoon!" Baal's evil clone scrambled through a discoloured crater on Mephisto's right (not wrong, RIGHT!) side, and yelled quietly in an ear on the ground:  
  
"No! This is not only a crappy Hanna-Barbara cartoon! It's also half-Animae! This Animae just happens to be worse than Pokémon."  
  
Mephisto slapped a little ditty on her forehead while muttering, "...having fun in the sun! Subway's place is number one..." After she finished, Baal's evils twin asked her,  
  
"I wonder how Jared Fogle is doing..."  
  
"He looked anorexic to me... nice shirt, though."  
  
"Æ."  
  
"Baal's evil twin, or something, would you like to join me (us?) on a mission?" Mephisto asked.  
  
"No. Seeing as I am Baal's EVIL clone, I would never agree with such a thing as a `mission'." The Twin-thingy paused. "On the other hand, there are different fingers. I'll go on a quest!"  
  
"Great!"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Æ"  
  
"Which one is Mephisto again?"  
  
"I forget."  
  
Baal:  
  
Baal and Mephisto and the door handle walked up a tree.  
"AAA everything is green!!!" Baal said.  
"You're not Baal!" Mephisto said.  
"Baal" disappeared with a strange noise and was replaced with the real Baal.  
"I found Gandalf" said the real Baal.  
"Everything is green!" Mephisto all of a sudden yelled.  
"Is that a point?" Baal asked.  
"No! But that's n ot the point" Mephisto said sending the reader *cough* you  
*cough* into a brand new confusion.  
  
Mephisto:  
  
Mephisto's IQ got low enough to make her stop trying to confuse the readers. She lost control over the evilness in her voice, which sounded spooky enough to make the apple in "When Mephisto's Cat Ate The Sorting Hat" cry again.  
  
"You said you had found Gandalf. Now what do we do?" Mephisto said in a very demonic voice, before losing control over her form and switching to her spikiest demonic figure.  
  
"Oops." Mephisto said, looking a lot like a cactus with newfound, mutant, superpowers. Baal had fallen asleep due to lack of attention.  
  
A very, very big television fell from a hole in the sky, landing on top of Diablo the door handle. (The current author doesn't know inches.) The telly miraculously turned on, and showed two of The Trinity of Eegeeboo boring commercials.  
  
Baal woke up and watched the telly for a while. She said,  
  
"Jared Fogle's really let himself go!"  
  
"You butt-hole!" Mephisto yelled. "That's Saturday night live!"  
  
"Oh," Baal looked baffled. "Molly Shannon looks quite nice in a fat-suit."  
  
"Yup." Mephisto said while gnawing on the tree-branch that held Diablo and the telly. Her gnawing resulted in the fall of the television, Diablo and Baal. Mephisto's spiky form got stuck in the tree. Baal had absolutely no good reason to fall. She just did.  
  
Mephisto shrunk again; it might be a side effect of her shrinking IQ. She fell out of the tree and got tangled in Baal, who then changed into her own demonic form to save her life. That made it look as if they had just had a very unsuccessful game of Twister.  
  
Mephisto and Baal had nothing to do but wait for help and watch "The Naked Chef."  
  
Baal was mesmerized. "He's so fast! How does he make a meal fit for God in thirty seconds?"  
  
Mephisto had seen that episode before and fell asleep.  
  
Baal:  
  
*fgraaaaaaaaa!!!" Baal yelled to wake Mephisto up.  
"What???" Mephisto asked annoyed.  
Baal looked confused and said, "aaa-a-ah!"  
"you still haven't learnt to talk properly, have you?" Mephisto asked as she  
shook her head.  
"I love this episode!!!" Diablo said as she sat there, on a rock that had  
mysteriously appeared out of nowhere watching "The Simpsons"  
The Three Prime Evils were soon engrossed in the cartoon, laughing their  
heads off, every time Maggie fell on her face, and when Homer choked Bart.  
"Hey!" aren't we supposed to be on a mission?" Baal asked, getting more  
confused by the second.  
"We can find Gandalf later, I can change in and out of my door-handle form  
anytime I want..." Diablo said.  
"I feel so stupid" Mephisto stated.  
"I actually knew it all along... I just wanted to be on a mission..." Baal  
said.  
"Whatever, let's watch some more TV!!!" Mephisto said and shrugged.  
  
The end... So far.  
  
Demonic, devious, monstrous, wicked, fiendish, menacing, ominous, vindictive, malicious, baleful, sinister, evil, scheming, atrocious, iniquitous, mischievous, intimidating, portentous, nasty, spiteful, malevolent, disturbing, vile, creepy, eerie. 


End file.
